The car pulled slowly up to the top of the hill and stopped. The woman killed the headlights and engine, and stepped outside. There wasn't much up here. It was a clearing out in the middle of no where really. She had found it after her father's death. Coming here after her disappearance, and every other time she needed to be alone. Alone with her pain. It was extreme self-pity she knew that. She knew and it didn't matter. The woman looked up at the stars, feeling the cold night air. They didn't give her answers, although she begged and pleaded for them. They did give her comfort though. The darkness within and without wrapped a protective blanket around her. It shielded her from the pain as it drowned her in it.
She let the memories of Melissa flood her mind. As one flashed by another took its place. She and Melissa playing hopscotch. Staying up late telling ghost stories. Sneaking into the shed trying to smoke a cigarette. Melissa, always arguing but always loving. Then finally Melissa laying in the hospital bed.
"Oh Missy" She whispered as the tears began to flow down her cheeks.
Just then her cellular phone went off. She jumped at the sound, as it startled her out of her trance.
"Scully." She answered a bit abruptly.
"Hi-I'm sorry were you busy?" Her partner asked.
"Uh...no, just sitting here thinking".
"About Melissa?" Mulder asked gently.
"Yeah...am I that obvious?"
Scully could here the smile in Mulder's voice. "No, I'm with the FBI I'm paid to pick up on these things".
There was a long pause as both tried to think of what to say next. "So why'd you call Mulder?"
"Ummm...I wanted to know if you were OK".
It was Scully's turn to smile. she had lost count of how many times they had asked each other that. Usually she would have put up her best front, shook off the hand he placed on her shoulder, and told him everything was fine, but she was in no mood for lying.
"No Mulder, I'm about as far from OK as you can get".
"Where are you?"
"Up on a hill looking at the stars".
That's all she had to say. Scully had told him of the place she was at now, and why she went there.
"Alone...you went up there to be alone." It was a statement not a question.
"Well yes-" She began before being cut-off.
"I'm sorry, I'll go".
"Mulder, let me finish".
"OK, I'm listening".
"I guess I realized while being here that being alone doesn't help the loneliness from going away. I've tried so hard not to let Missy's death affect me, that I didn't realize how much it has. I've got this emptiness inside me and pushing people away doesn't help it go away. Shutting them out...Shutting you out, doesn't make it stop hurting".
"I didn't know how much this was affecting you". Mulder replied at her confession.
"It's not your fault, I wouldn't let you".
"Yes it is. I'm your partner. I should have be able to tell".
"Mulder, you've had to deal with your own pain".
"Hey Scully, at least let me take part of the blame".
She could tell he was trying to make a joke.
"God Mulder, you always want something".
Mulder laughed. "And I want something else too Scully".
"What's that?"
"I don't want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I'm here for you, you know that don't you?"
His words had a familiar ring to them. He had been there for her that time too.
"Yes I know, and Mulder, the same goes for you".
"I know Scully".
They shared a few moments of comfortable silence before Scully spoke.
"You busy Mulder?"
"Well...I'm entertaining Miss September at the moment, but I'm sure I could disentangle myself from her for awhile, why?"
"Well it's not as an alluring prospect as Miss September, but you want to go for some coffee?"
"Hmmmm...I'd love too".
"20 minutes?"
"I'll be there". He said then hung up.
"So will I, "Scully thought to herself,"Always".
THE END.....
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